Saturday, November 15, 2014

Sometimes Running Away is the Right Thing To Do

It is often said with great gravity, "Running away won't solve anything."  I used to believe that.  I always stuck it out, gave it my all, and thought retreat, leaving, moving was the wrong thing to do. Running away was for those without courage.

I am finally convinced that that mindset can get you killed. Or fired. Or sick. Or any number of unpleasant things that won't further your good or anyone else's.

In the martial arts you are taught that to run away is entirely honorable. To run away keeps everyone alive to try to work it out some other way. In battle, retreat is sometimes not only wise, but the move that helps win the war or allows for peace.  In job situations, it is sometimes better to quit than to stay. In relationships, it is often the wisest course- to move away from the confrontation, not to act on the feelings of the moment, and in some cases, leave the relationship for good.

Obviously, there are times that running away won't solve the situation.  You will take the problem with you if the problem is yours.  And it is certain it is not always easy to know where the problem lies and your own part in it.  Some self-examination may well be in order.  But at those times, recall the deer during hunting season. The hunter would like the deer to stay.  What is in the deer's best interest? Is the deer running away from the problem?  Assuming the deer wants to remain healthy and alive, is that the wrong thing to do?

Let's stop telling others that "running away won't solve anything." It is not true and can put that person in conflict.  Running away can be the right thing, the healthy thing, the best thing, even the honorable thing to do. 

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